Ok, this was interesting. It started out being interesting and then it got strange and I couldn’t figure out exactly why. I got to the end and came to a stop. Then I had to kind of fall back and squint at it a bit.
The problem was I could agree with the major contention of the role of AM in the world where AFWM is some kind of ideal. My stop came because I didn’t really have a place although I did but it was not a comfortable place. That was important to me but I’m not sure who else.
As the WM part of an AFWM unit I really couldn’t tell how to place myself in this narrative other than as the one who was fortunately absent. The problem is that I don’t recognize myself as a WM.
Falling back and squinting kind of brought that in focus. It’s a little difficult for those of us that have lived for all or most of our lives in Hawaii. We are all minorities and we all mix together in various ways. And many families don’t want their kids to mix together permanently but I’ve watched that pretty much disappear over the last forty years. But Hawaii is not like the rest of the planet and is definitely not like the rest of America.
Never did much care for that place myself. Too many uppity, privileged white people. But that must be, I’ve come to realize, a bit like what transgender people feel. You get placed in a box by your outside appearance but you’re really something else.
Ahh, but it doesn’t get any simpler because suddenly I’m all tangled up in various identities that are not properly appreciated. That ends up leading into all the wrong places. So maybe I just won’t worry about it except for my kids and grandkids who run the gamut from full AM to mostly WM and daughters and granddaughters across the spectrum. But they don’t mind talking about it and staking out their ground. We all have a place together.