My goodness, you need some help or at least a long nap. Things always do get better. It just takes awhile. In the meantime say to hell with it and read a good book while you get better.
Very few people get Patreon to work but if you can go for it. I like Medium as it pays for my Starbucks most every month. But I don’t really need the money and am well past paying for kids tuition (they’re paying for their kids tuition at rates far higher than I paid).
I will say that if you can’t get the writing thing to pay for what you need, by doing it the way you want to, it is probably better to try something else. You can always come back to it. You have needs and family with needs. Hustle some bucks for a few years and you will learn new things that you want to write about.
I originally wrote long ago but it was hard work for some reason. Why is this such hard work, I would ask myself. So I got a job that was kind of interesting and wrote boring business things and lots of memos. Made a lot of money and then lost a lot and then started doing ok with a retirement job that I like. Said I wasn’t chasing dollars anymore. Just let it be. Now I enjoy writing in ways I never did when I called myself a writer (even though I knew it was a lie).
I gave up lying to myself. Suddenly everything worked. Who knew?