Have We Achieved Peak Asshole?

How did we not see this coming?

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by Mike Meyer ~ Honolulu ~ August 31, 2020

It is difficult being old enough to know better but still trying to understand when things are going to hell in your home country. Things aren’t supposed to happen that way. But that is a complaint with a history longer than we have written records to research. You’d think we would get emotional tribalism, greed, and general stupidity even though that is a standard characteristic of our species.

Having failed to get our shit together for several thousand years to the point that we scared ourselves with our massive destructiveness by the late 20th century, we spent too long congratulating ourselves on our maturity. Our asshole nature was just laying low and came roaring back when we weren’t looking.

You think people would know an asshole when they see one. I thought that was what pubic education and elementary schools did. Yes, there is the formal education part of getting you started with reading, thinking, and learning how to learn, but the training in assholes was part of recess, lunch hour, and after school.

A big part of that early education is meeting the schoolyard asshole. You get to see true humanity, male or female, very early when someone bigger than you smacks you around, steals your lunch money, and gets away with it.

That usually goes on until you lose control and get into a fight, and then you get in trouble. Isn’t that asshole 101? If your able to defend yourself or avoid the assholes, the later is the far safer and smarter response. You get better and quicker at identifying a new asshole or someone who isn’t purebred but the result of a temporary asshole condition.

That is part of the education also. Sometimes a person who is ok turns into an asshole and surprises you, but then you figure out that they are dealing with the assholes in their life. All of that can be confusing, but we learn about it, and temporary assholes may turn into friends when you understand their situation. Now that’s an important lesson to learn.

So there are grades of assholes, and you learn not to jump to conclusions too soon. But the real lesson is that there are total assholes, and there is no getting around that. We all learn that the complete asshole group, while numerous, are a clear minority of the human population. You need to know who they are and not to allow them near anything valuable or essential that should not be destroyed. Total assholes ruin things for fun or if they can’t figure out how to steal it.

By the time you get to middle school, you begin to see the social effect of assholes, specifically total assholes. They never travel alone because they are usually cowards. Their status is external to them and must be supported continuously by praise from their followers. You learn to take the long way to the parking lot if you see them hanging around with a hungry look in their eyes.

Total assholes, who have usually achieved that rank because they are accidentally big enough to be intimidating or belong to an asshole family, or, in the worst case, belong to a wealthy asshole family, are ‘strong attractors’ for borderline assholes. These are people who are little assholes or wannabe assholes who don’t have the initiative of the real asshole. But they can learn at the hands of the real thing.

As noted above, this is elementary school knowledge with the finishing touches in middle school and no later than the tenth grade. Human assholes are not complicated and the only difference between a middle school total asshole and the full adult version is the amount of suffering and damage they can inflict. They don’t change; they only get more destructive.

Why did so many 21st century countries end up with total assholes in charge after what we learned in the 20th century? No one can look at Donald J.Trump and not know that the man is a complete asshole. I also don’t think that anyone could look at or listen to Bolsinaro, Modi, Putin, or Erdogan and not immediately identify a total asshole.

These people, in proper form, surround themselves with significant and total assholes. Some of them are better at tapping the assholeness of people and producing followers that make them more potent than the garden variety asshole. A few learn to keep their asshole mouths in check and fool people some of the time, but that is only true of borderline assholes who may be on their way to truly evil. But that is another topic as seriously evil people need more intelligence than the total common asshole.

Nation-states in their old age as a form of large scale human organization are the peak of the total asshole world. This peak asshole in government conditions developed when we weren’t looking. Somehow governments became fully packed with complete assholes; how we missed that I don’t know.

We should have paid attention, but we became so familiar with lesser evils, greed as the only allowed virtue, and racists denying that they are racists and the acceptable levels of corruption that we lost interest. By the time Obama got in, we were fully convinced of our exceptionalism and didn’t realize until too late that the total assholes had completely taken over one of our allowed political parties.

Years of active destruction, the real purpose of total assholes, left gaping holes through which a disgusting asshole could gather all the little assholes together to make him feel good. This masterstroke was orchestrated by Putin, who thought he was smart enough to achieve a higher level of evil but only ended up as Trump’s pimp. Another common outcome for assholes.

With assholes everywhere and our national fate in the hands of an old politician who learned to pander to assholes without becoming one, the burden on Kamala Harris is immense. She is not an asshole and too intelligent for recruitment, but there is a reason your mother always said, don’t associate with assholes and birds of a feather flock together. Well, my mother didn’t say asshole, but I figured it out.

We should have figured this out forty years ago. Now everyone in America, at least the white people, are assumed to be assholes. What can we say?

Educator, CIO, retired entrepreneur, grandfather with occasional fits of humor in the midst of disaster. . .

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